Randy's Ruminations

We experience love in this world that is less than complete and whole - that is less than love from the heart, soul, mind, and strength of another person. Some have known this incomplete love in a parent or a spouse. I don’t have to tell you how it is not only incomplete, but that it actually hurts.

What does incomplete love look like?

Perhaps the person would say with tears "I’m sorry" and "I love you," but would fail in action: either hurting you by what they did or in the ways they failed to support you. This is a failure of “strength” love.

Or they might clothe, house, feed, and educate you but never said, “I love you," never held and caressed you. You never sensed they really felt love for you. This is a failure of “soul” love.

Or they said the right words, and even were physically demonstrative, yet you never knew for sure if they would still be there next year. Had they really decided this was a relationship for life? This is a failure of “heart” love.

Or they did the things they should do, and, as a heart decision, determined that they would be there for life, but they didn’t do the work and take the time to really know you, to learn who you are – your likes and needs. This is a failure of “mind” love.

If you have experienced incomplete love in an important relationship and can peel back the defense mechanisms that may be in place to deaden the hurt, you know what a hole it leaves to have love fail in even one of these areas.

On the other hand, when you have known complete, 4-channel love in a parent, spouse or friend, stop for minute to be grateful and do not take that for granted. Realize the gift you have been given.

The greatest commandment in the Bible – the most important thing about being, your life, your existence, is to love God with all your heart and all your soul, and all your mind and all your strength. Anything less hurts both God and you.