Friday, July 14, 2006
PARENTING AND CHURCH
I am compelled to add this appendix to the Parenting posts. I have stressed the importance of genuine, communicated faith in the home on the part of the parents. But the family's church experience is also critically important. There are healthy churches and unhealthy churches. There are churches with authenitic leadership and churches with woefully inadequate leadership or leadership that doesn't ring true.
We have been blessed with a healthy church and church leaders who reinforce personal, deep, sacrificial, shepherding faith for our kids to see. Kathy and I were commenting to our kids about how fortunate we were to have elders that are personal friends and care about individuals. One of the girls responded that she didn't feel close to them.
So Kathy asked her to imagine she was seriously ill or injured in the hospital. "Who would you want to come see you?" And Kathy started naming elders:
"Billy?"
"Well, sure."
"Gordon?"
"Of course."
"Browning?"
"Oh, yeah."
And so on...
Her eyes brightened as she realized that she really would want those church elders to be there because they were important in her life after all.
Another of our daughters got married two weeks ago. As a couple they had an elder and wife pray a prayer of blessing over them in the wedding because that elder couple had done their marriage counseling. There is a strong connection between her and that elder couple.
As a minister for a church I am for church loyalty and sticking it out in tough times. But if you are parents of children still at home and you do not see authentic Christian attitudes, character, heart and speech in your church leaders, I urge you to seriously consider the effect that staying in that church will have on the faith and church involvement of your kids later in life. I advise you to start searching for a better spiritual environment for your children.
Sure, people use a bad experience as an excuse at times. But don't underestimate the damage bad modeling does to developing children. It is such a devastating reality that Jesus pronounced one of his very harshest condemnations on "anyone who causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin."
We have been blessed with a healthy church and church leaders who reinforce personal, deep, sacrificial, shepherding faith for our kids to see. Kathy and I were commenting to our kids about how fortunate we were to have elders that are personal friends and care about individuals. One of the girls responded that she didn't feel close to them.
So Kathy asked her to imagine she was seriously ill or injured in the hospital. "Who would you want to come see you?" And Kathy started naming elders:
"Billy?"
"Well, sure."
"Gordon?"
"Of course."
"Browning?"
"Oh, yeah."
And so on...
Her eyes brightened as she realized that she really would want those church elders to be there because they were important in her life after all.
Another of our daughters got married two weeks ago. As a couple they had an elder and wife pray a prayer of blessing over them in the wedding because that elder couple had done their marriage counseling. There is a strong connection between her and that elder couple.
As a minister for a church I am for church loyalty and sticking it out in tough times. But if you are parents of children still at home and you do not see authentic Christian attitudes, character, heart and speech in your church leaders, I urge you to seriously consider the effect that staying in that church will have on the faith and church involvement of your kids later in life. I advise you to start searching for a better spiritual environment for your children.
Sure, people use a bad experience as an excuse at times. But don't underestimate the damage bad modeling does to developing children. It is such a devastating reality that Jesus pronounced one of his very harshest condemnations on "anyone who causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin."
